" 私は別の世界に住んでいる。"

That was a strange question. What are you? It resounded over and over again in his head until he was certain his brains had turned to mush inside his skull. Didn't she mean who are you? Wouldn't that have made more sense? Either way, it was too late now to ask what she had meant. He sighed at that, rolling over in his bed for the millionth time that night. It was hot with the onset of summer, so the sheets stuck to him like a second layer of skin. It didn't help that his fan was broken, or that the crickets decided to chirp annoying songs outside his bedroom window. It was all just bad... as if God himself had taken good care to design this particular night to torture Joshua. Not that Josh believed in that sort of thing.

Giving up on sleep, he opened his eyes only to find that it was just as good as having them shut. The night had already taken over, and spread blackness into the room thick enough to make any common man invisible. It didn't deter Joshua, though. He knew his way around this house - every sneaker tossed mindlessly against the carpet, every stair and odd corner. Flinging the sheets off, he lifted his thin form from the bed, and stalked out into the hall. Josh could see a small light on downstairs, and almost smiled. Dad was up... how predictable.

He headed carefully down the stairs, counting his steps. Each one became more visible then the one that came before it, until Josh had already become use to the light. What he saw once downstairs was of no particular surprise to him. His father, Eddward, was huddled up in his armchair with a book in the living room. It was what the man used to replace a real family. "Can't sleep?" Josh called out to him, trying to silence the unwelcome thought. 

His unsuspecting father jumped a bit in his chair; startled by the sound of his son's voice creeping around the corner. The older man nevertheless chuckled, brushing a hand through his black hair that was without a doubt soon to be showing gray. "Can't sleep." Eddward admitted, before setting the book down in his lap. There was a brief moment of silence then, as one of his father's long, thin fingers pushed his glasses back up the ridge of his nose. Then, seeing his son more clearly now, the man smiled. He was the only one who continued to smile at Joshua after getting to know him. Josh wasn't sure if this made him a pitiable sap who deserved to be frowned upon, or a guy who just so happened to be nicer than most. Eddward liked to believe it just made him a parent.

"What were you reading?" Josh questioned, lingering close to the wall. He still seemed to be choosing whether to go or stay... logically deciding the pros and cons of conversation. For now there was small talk, and a boy hesitant to sit until he was certain of a good outcome. It would have depressed Eddward if he weren't use to it. 

"Hamlet."

"But you've read that book a thousand times." Josh hurriedly replied, as if exasperated, but somehow lacking the emotion that should accompany the tone. "I don't get the point. Once you've read it once-"

"Well," Eddward interrupted. "Hamlet is the kind of book that you can read from many different angles. Political, Religious..." He smiled when he saw Josh take a seat on the couch nearby. Had he captured his son's interest? The young boy usually seemed too consumed in his own ideas to listen to anyone else. After all, Josh was disinclined to believe anyone who claimed they had an opinion of their own. It was a shame... "You know, people are like that, too." Eddward added, only to sigh when he realized that his son was no longer listening. "Joshua?"

He looked up. His brown eyes were sharp, critical; his lips pulled back tightly as if to contain his words for a few more moments. "That isn't true, and you know it. You read that book, because that woman gave it to you." Eddward paused. That woman…

"What woman?" The man watched as his son's eyes narrowed at his attempt at ignorance. How was his young face capable of such strange dictation? Eddward wasn't sure he wanted to find out. Sighing, he relented. "How do you know about her?" He asked quietly, looking away from Josh, and back down at the troublesome book that rested in his lap. A book that she had never liked... She'd never understood. But even so... 

Eddward opened it up to the inside cover where her name was still perfectly intact in bold black against off-white. The proud T, the long-tailed X, the backwards E... A name that still haunted him. A name that he hadn't spoken out-loud in so many years. Trixie. "Was she my mother?" Joshua asked, leaning over. Those dark eyes staring at him, waiting for the answer that Eddward did not want to give. 

"I thought we established this..." 

"What? That you're too chicken to tell me?" Josh wasn't going to give up. That determined face was staring at him, prying him for the answer... no, not the answer. The truth; the reality of the situation that Eddward had found himself buried in long ago. Deep inside, he recognized the fact that he'd hidden a whole cornerstone of his son's life from him. Was it for Josh's own safety, or for himself? Eddward didn't want to know. All he knew was that one question answered would lead to another question, and another one after that. If he could keep Josh from asking those questions... If he could just do that then maybe...

He cleared his throat. Yes, Eddward decided, sacrifices had to be made whether Joshua liked it or not. It was suppose to be this way. It had to be this way, in order to keep the future guaranteed. He wouldn't tell him. After all, things like that shouldn't be told. 

"Can you just drop it?"

"I think that I deserve to know what I am!" Josh argued, rising a bit from the couch. The boy watched as his meek father suddenly found his nerve. The words somehow striking a deep cord in Eddward, probably something else he wasn't strong enough to face. 

"You are my son, and that is ALL that matters."

"You're just a bastard who doesn't want me to know about my mother!" Josh hollared, red-faced.

"Because your mother doesn't care!" There was silence then. Josh's mouth was still open, with a tounge that suddenly went cold, and lungs that seemed to hold out on breathing for the sake of politeness. His shoulders slumped with lost determination, and he just sat there staring at nothing for a moment. There was a profound hollowness then, deep inside his chest where his heart should have been, and Josh wasn't sure if he should be sad at the realization. 

Eddward covered his mouth in shock. "Josh, I..." He mumbled a few things between his fingers, but Josh didn't listen. It didn't matter. It was said, and it was true. Both of them knew that. "I'm sorry... I'm just not..." He couldn't formulate the words. They just wouldn't come. He felt too ashamed. How was it that he always managed to hurt the people that he tried to protect? 

"You're right, Dad." Josh mumbled, standing up. His voice once again having regained the calm indifference that characterized him. "No one is who they appear to be, are they?" It was then that he made a profound realization...

CHILDREN OF THE
IRON TRIANGLE

Chapter One, Part One

"How was it?" The anxious girl asked with a hurried breath, placing her hands on his freckled shoulders. Her fingernails pressed into the skin as if to quicken his response, but he was unrelentingly silent. The girl's blue eyes wavered nervously at that, searching his eyes only to find darkness. She was unable to comprehend that blackness, so she substituted her own happiness into his emptiness in order to satisfy the strange feeling that had come over her from the sight. She didn't really see Joshua for what he was. She saw through herself; through innocence, and the spirit of exploration that was rushing through her veins like the sweetest high. And Joshua knew it. Oh, and he tasted it too.

"Boring," He replied simply. "You're getting all flustered over that?" It was then that the darkness crept up on her, pouring out of his eyes so quickly that she was drowning before she knew there was an ocean. "Nothing personal, of course." Josh shrugged her hands off of his shoulders before turning, and wiping his mouth off. "See you on Monday."

Her hands dropped to her sides lifelessly. Her wide eyes watching as the tall boy left, his skinny form disappearing into the shadows where his brunette hair turned black with night. Even when there was nothing left of him in the room, he still lingered around; suffocating what was left of her hope until it receded to the pit of her stomach. It was the maddening taste of his lips against her lips… the subtle pulsation of his heart against her fingertips… it had all seemed so perfectly in place just a moment ago. Now… She clenched her fists. 

How could he be so careless? In class, she’d found his cold attitude to be mysterious, alluring even, but she never thought that could be how he really was. "Joshua!" The girl yelled, pausing as if startled by her own voice. She couldn’t help it – wanting to know the answers. She had to know. She just had to. There was no way that he could be so indifferent. There was just no way that it could be true, after all of this longing… to be denied so brutally?

She quickly ran off, not even stopping to breathe until she reached the neighboring park. The full moon’s gaze cast a glimmer on the metallic bars of the swing set where the boy sat with his back to her. She opened her mouth to speak only to find herself gasping for air.

It didn’t need to be said. It was evident in her once-hurried footsteps, her every pant, and… oh, most bothersome of all… her hovering presence just past his shoulder. It was disgraceful, and pathetic. "Let me guess," Josh spoke up from his perch. "‘This just wasn’t how I imagined it?’…Is that about right?" He watched as her jaw tightened, and her shoulders tensed. Her childlike eyes slowly widening as they came into adulthood... capable of seeing the truth of things. He was teaching her about the reality of this world, and it was then that she finally saw it. "Sorry to inform you, but this isn't some dumb fantasy of yours." 

Josh waited a few minutes, hoping for some kind of response. The girl only stood there. His monotone voice... his cool, calm voice... sending chills throughout her until even the tears that were pooling in her eyes stilled like ice. "What are you?" She finally whispered into the stagnant air. Josh's blank lips twitching as his indifference wavered, but it was only a momentary lapse. What did he care, after all, about what stupid girls happened to say? They say a lot of stupid things. Stupid... Josh stood up, wiping his hands off on his pants before turning to leave again. This time, he heard no footsteps besides his own. It was somewhat reassuring to be left in numbness again, but also... also disappointing. Why was that? Josh hadn't expected anything different. No, he was certain of that.

What are you, Joshua Santos?